


Stay With Me

by ImaginaryFigment



Series: Postgame AU [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Denial of Feelings, Dreams and Nightmares, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hospitals, Hotels, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Isolation, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, Reality TV, Saihara Shuichi and Shirogane Tsumugi Are Siblings, Shuichi and Tsumugi are related, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Survivor Guilt, Therapy, Time Skips, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, platonic pet names, slow burn (?), vr au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaryFigment/pseuds/ImaginaryFigment
Summary: He had been alone for so long...months had gone by since it all happened, since they all woke up. And even so, he was left to rot, alone and forgotten. It wasn't that they didn't care...or rather, it wasn't that all of them didn't care.No, there was one who did. One who couldn't stop thinking of him.On the day Shuichi went to see Kokichi, the world shattered around him.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro & Oma Kokichi, Amami Rantaro & Saihara Shuichi, Chabashira Tenko & Oma Kokichi, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Gokuhara Gonta & Oma Kokichi, Gokuhara Gonta/Hoshi Ryoma, Harukawa Maki & Oma Kokichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Iruma Miu & Oma Kokichi, Iruma Miu/K1-B0, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oma Kokichi & Everyone, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi & Everyone, Saihara Shuichi & Shirogane Tsumugi, Shinguji Korekiyo/Yonaga Angie, Shirogane Tsumugi/Tojo Kirumi
Series: Postgame AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932496
Comments: 30
Kudos: 186





	1. Chapter 1: Wake Up

The sky lit up with an explosion, sending shrapnel everywhere. Maki, Himiko and I stayed close together, our eyes shut tightly. When the sound of falling rocks stopped, Maki stood up. 

“Oh my god…” Maki looked up. Himiko was still curled into a ball, hugging my arm tightly. Bracing myself against the rock we were hidden behind, I shakily stood up. 

Himiko looked at me, terrified. “I’m not going to leave you here,” I assured her. She bit her lip, eyes watering. I extended my hand and pulled her up. When we looked to Maki, I dropped Himiko’s hand. “Oh my god.” 

There was a hole in the dome. A huge hole. And through it, we could see it all. 

The sky...god, it was beautiful. Had the sky always been that beautiful? That... _blue_? And perfect? Glass rained down from it. It looked almost like snow. Glittering and gorgeous. 

Buildings, too. There were people here. We could get help. We could tell our story to everyone and make sure it really was over. 

Himiko stumbled forward. “That’s it...that’s the exit...we can leave.” Maki nodded.

“Yeah. Are you ready?” she asked. 

“We’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” I told them.

“So, in the end, we still don’t know what was true or not,” Maki said. “But we made it.”

“I guess it’s not important whether it’s a truth or a lie.” Himiko looked sad. “I miss the others…”

“We have each other, now and forever. Let’s find out what’s waiting for us, together.”

That was the last thing I said before it all went dark. 

Just...sudden darkness. A falling sensation. Nothingness. 

The next time I woke up, I thought maybe I had died. Everything was white. Plain white. And boring. 

Had I really died? How? I couldn’t even remember falling asleep...let alone _dying_.

Upon a second glance, the room wasn’t as white as I first thought and there was a steady beeping noise wherever I was. That’s what made me question this place being ‘heaven’. 

I became even more sure that it wasn’t heaven as I turned my head. I was in...a hospital room. There was an IV attached to my arm and a neat stack of letters set onto a table next to me. 

The letters all varied in appearance, some of them were colourful and some were plain white. They were all addressed to me, from what I could see, but the handwriting always changed.

“Oh, Mr Saihara. Welcome back to the land of the living.” I turned my head to see a nurse. She smiled at me, jotting something down on a clipboard, and then lifted my arm and removed an IV. I winced as she did and she smiled at me sympathetically.

“W-What are you talking about?” My voice was scratchy and my throat hurt. 

“Danganronpa 53. Do you not remember?” Her lipstick was bright red. The only real colour in the room. 

Red...red like blood. Like Rantaro’s blood, spilling from his head and onto the library floor. Like the water where we found Ryoma. Like Kirumi’s blood, seeping from the thin cuts littered around her body. Like Angie and Tenko’s blood. Like the blood that dripped from Kiyo’s eyes. Like Gonta’s blood. Like Kaito’s as he coughed. Like Tsumugi’s. Like ours after we escaped. Like Kokichi’s blood as after he was crushed to death, completely destroyed, _gone forever-_

“We ended Danganronpa,” I said. My voice came out just as harshly painful and quiet. The nurse laughed. 

“Oh, no. In fact, the fans are clamouring for season 54 to come out already. Great job though. My daughter loved you.” The nurse smiled.

“I-I don’t understand.” 

The nurse nodded. “I’d imagine you don’t. Well, let’s get you checked out, alright? You were sleeping for a good while.” 

“I...was?” How long had I been sleeping? What was going on?

“I’m sure you’re confused. As soon as we get you cleared, you can speak to Dr Gekkogahara or that Amami kid. They both know what’s going on pretty well.” The nurse smiled at me again and walked out of the room. 

Amami- as in Rantaro? Talk to Rantaro? But he was dead. 

I thought over what had just happened. The last thing I remembered, Maki, Himiko and I had been standing together, ready to face our new future. And then I woke up here, in a hospital. 

So...had someone found us? And saved us? 

That must have been it. 

I stood up, a wave of dizziness and nausea overcoming me for a moment. Spots danced in front of my eyes and I sat back down. A few minutes later, I tried again with more success. 

I walked into the en suite and blinked at the near-stranger in the mirror.

My hair was a bit messy, and considerably longer than it had been the last time I had seen myself. Maybe I was exaggerating. It wasn’t _that_ long but it was definitely longer than it had been and longer than I was comfortable with it being. 

My skin was also abnormally pale. Like I had been locked inside for years or was about to die of some illness. 

Illness...Kaito. 

I’d never get to see him again. He’d never call me ‘bro’ again or throw his arm around my and Maki’s shoulders and call us his sidekicks or tell me not cry or-

Too many things. He’d never do any of those things again. 

Because he was dead. 

And I was alive. 

“Mr Saihara? You in there?” A knock on the bathroom door drew me out of my thoughts. 

“Y-yes?” 

“Would you mind coming out? We’d like to get you your medication and then have you get some sleep.”

“I just woke up.” I pulled open the door and stepped back into the room. The nurse smiled at me.

“Yes, we know. You don’t _need_ to sleep but we’d prefer if you at least tried to get some _rest_ , not just _sleep_. I’d guess that you’re pretty tired already.” And she was right. I could feel a headache building up and weariness setting in. Sleep...sounded nice actually. 

“O-okay.” The nurse smiled again and held out her hand. 

“Here, come with me. We need to get you a change of clothes. You can pick them out if you like. We typically have them set out for you already but since you took so long...well. Come on, dearie. I need to make sure you’re new room is set up as well...” 

I blinked, registering all the information she had just given me. “...I’m not staying in this room?”

The nurse laughed. “Oh no, of course you aren’t! This room is in the ICU, the Intensive Care Unit. You had some shaky vitals once we pulled you so we kept you in here. Since you’ve been steady and you’re awake, we can move you into a normal recovery room as soon as you’re cleared by the Doc.” The nurse reached out again, motioning for me to take it. 

“That’s where Maki and Himiko are?”

“Yes, almost all of you are in the recovery rooms!” the nurse said. 

...almost?

“Who isn’t in the recovery rooms?” I asked, panic flaring through me. The nurse sighed but her smile never flickered. 

“I can’t disclose that.”

“Please. I have to know,” I murmured, looking down. What if Maki or Himiko weren’t okay? We promised to stay together...

“There’s only one still here, other than you. You’ll find out when you’re cleared. Now come on, time to go.” She turned and left the room and, after a moment’s hesitation, I followed. 

We walked through the stark white hallways until we reached a set of large doors. “Wait here. I need to grab your clothing. Unless you want to pick?”

“No- no it’s fine,” I told her. I looked around at the hallway of closed doors until my eyes landed on someone else’s. They were in a room with its door open, the only one like that, in the darkness. Bright purple, nearly glowing. 

“Alright! Let’s go!” the nurse called, her voice pulling me away. When I looked back, the door was closed. 

“Who was that…?”

“Hmm?” The nurse turned around. “Don’t worry yourself about it.” I looked at the door again before letting the nurse lead me away. 

I got back to my room rather quickly. The nurse left me after giving me clothes to change into and a little paper cup with some pills in it. 

I swallowed them with water from the faucet and changed, pulling back my hair as much as I could. 

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

But that’s not true...it never is. 

Even though I couldn’t see them, those purple eyes from the dark room stuck with me, haunting me even as I fell into sleep. 

***

 _“So you’re still alone then. Even though they’re all here. Even though_ **_he_ ** _just saw you. You deserve it. You know that right? You deserve to be alone. After everything you did, you deserve to be alone forever.”_

_“Why do you keep hoping you’ll see them? Why do you keep hoping that they even might care about you? They don’t. They never have. They never will. It’s stupid to think or want otherwise.”_

_“You’re a pathetic fucking bitch, you know that? A weak, useless child. No one will ever care about you. You aren’t worth their thoughts. You aren’t worth a second glance.”_

_“You deserve to die.”_

_“She’s here. You’re disgusting. Making her feel like a shitty person just because you can’t get better? Because you_ **_don’t want to_ ** _? And yet you still take up space...still take the meds they give you...even though it’s_ **_pointless._ ** _You won’t get better. Ever. Either way...she’s here.”_

“Time for you meds, sweetie! How are you feeling today?”

“...I’m fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I’m so sorry this chapter is so long lmao it got away from me a bit. And there’s a few spoilers for DR3 (the anime) in this chapter, but they’re relatively vague
> 
> That being said, enjoy the chapter !!

“Good morning!” 

I jumped at the nurse’s voice ripped me from my sleep. “Um- good morning?”

“We just need to have you speak with Doc, get your meds and then we’ll get you back with the others! Sound good?” The nurse smiled and walked through the room, pulling open the curtains. I put my hand up to shield my face from the sudden bright light. 

“I-I guess so? Who’s Doc?” I asked. 

“Oh, that’s right, I’m sorry! You haven’t met her yet. Doctor Gekkogahara, she’s a therapist who’s dedicated herself to cases like yours.” The nurse continued fiddling with something as she spoke. 

Cases...like mine? “What do you mean?”

“Survivors of Danganronpa.”

“...oh.” I shifted nervously in the bed. “I see.” _Survivors..._

“Well, I’ll grab your meds and then we’ll take you over to see Doc, okay?” The nurse smiled at me. “I’ll be back in a second.”

When the nurse came back a few minutes later, she was followed by a woman in a wheelchair with greyish-blue hair and bright blue eyes. “Mr Saihara, this is the Doc.”

“Nice to meet you, Shuichi!” Her mouth didn’t move at all, in fact, no part of her seemed to move. Instead, a half white and half pink rabbit moved expressively on the large screen attached to her wheelchair, seemingly speaking for her. I blinked uncertainly. “Oh, please don’t mind Monomi! She’s just my avatar. I’m much more comfortable like this.”

“O-oh. Okay. N-nice to meet you too...so you have to ‘clear’ me and then I can see Maki and Himiko?” I fidgeted with my fingers, my eyes not staying in the same place too long. _I just needed to get through this...then I could see them._

Dr Gekkogaraha laughed quietly. “You’re nervous. That’s understandable. What are you nervous about specifically?” 

I noticed she didn’t answer my question, setting a pit in my stomach, but I ignored it in favour of a different path. “W-with all do respect, Dr Gekkogahara, I’m not too sure I’m, um, comfortable talking about this with a stranger. I-I’d just like to be, uh, cleared so I can see my friends again.” 

“I understand! It’s normal to feel uncomfortable during the first session. But talking with a, as you put it, _stranger_ might actually help you. So tell me, what’s bothering you?” Dr Gekkogahara asked again. 

I scratched at the back of my neck nervously. “Um. I-I’m not quite sure how to phrase it.”

“Just say whatever comes to mind! How are you feeling after surviving?” Dr Gekkogahara asked. Her computerised voice sounded bright and friendly, if that was possible. 

“I- I’m upset? I miss my friends. Even if... even if none of us are real-”

“You are,” she interrupted. 

“What?”

“Real, that is.” Her eyes flicked to the side. “You can continue now. Tell me more about your friends. How do you feel about them? And their...deaths?”

I paused, mulling over her words. “Can you-”

“No. You aren’t cleared yet. Just know that you _are_ real. Anyway. Answer the question would you?” Her voice lost the childish tone it had. That reminded me of the way Kokichi’s voice used to change and his face would go blank when he was telling the truth. My heart panged in my chest. Odd. 

I swallowed, shaking off the weird emotion that had come over me and my surprise at her words. “How do I feel about their deaths? Not good…? I loved them. Not having them with me...it _hurts._ And seeing them die like that…” I paused, pain washing over me at the memory of the executions. “I-it was awful. I would give anything to have protected them from that. I...I wish it was me who had gone through those executions instead of them.”

“Tell me more about that. What do you mean?” 

“What?” I shook my head in confusion. The rabbit sighed, it’s head taking on a bluish hue. 

“What do you mean? When you say you wish it was you who had gone through the executions- what do you mean?” she asked. I bit my lip. 

“Um. Just that. I wish it was me instead of them. I- I would give anything to protect them from going through that. I loved all of them...if I could have taken Kaede’s place during her execution- or Kaito’s or- or _anyone’s._ I don’t want to see them suffer, any of them. Even the ones who hurt others, like Kiyo or what Miu wanted to do...I would give anything to have protected them from dying. To have taken their places. To just...see them alive again.” My eyes were tearing up. 

Dr Gekkogahara seemed to freeze, thinking probably. “That’s very admirable. I’m sure your friends would really appreciate that if they heard you say it. Shuichi- how would you rate your current mental state?”

I looked at Dr Gekkogahara incredulously. Was she serious-? “Um. I don’t know. I- what do you mean?”

“Well. How do you feel? Would you say that you’re...depressed, for lack of a better word? Anxious? Angry? Maybe happy that you survived-”

“No! No, of course I’m not happy! Especially not that I survived. There- there are so many people who deserved to survive but-” I stopped myself, looking away. 

“But what? There are others who deserve to survive but what?” Dr Gekkogahra twirled her hand, prompting me to continue. I swallowed. 

“But not me,” I muttered. “Kaede was so bright and kind. She deserved to survive. Kaito brought us all up and helped me get stronger. Rantaro...well, I didn’t know him very well, I can admit that. But he didn’t deserve to die. Kiibo! Kiibo saved us all, he should’ve survived with us. Or Gonta...he just wanted to help. And so did Miu, in her own way. Ryoma should’ve survived too...or Kirumi! Or- or everyone else too. None of them deserved to die.”

“Neither did you.” I opened my mouth but no words came out. “Do you disagree, Shuichi?”

“I-” I didn't know how to respond. “Um.”

“Answer honestly, it’s alright.”

“I...no. I didn’t. Everyone else was important. They all...had things to live for. The only thing I have is...their deaths. That’s the only reason I should survive, isn’t it? To keep on living for them…” I looked down. 

“Is that what you really believe?”

“I...why does that matter?” I asked, looking up at her. 

“Shuichi. Do you really feel that you have nothing to live for?” Dr Gekkogahara’s voice was stern again. It made me feel like the room was too warm, like the walls were closing around on me, I had done something wrong- “Shuichi. There’s no wrong answer. You’re alright. I’m only asking because I want to make sure you know that you’re important and you deserve to live.”

“But my friends-”

“Also deserved to live. But not _more_ than anyone else. No one deserves to live more than someone. Yes, you survived. And they didn’t. And that sucks, it really does. I know you miss them. I felt much the same way during my own game-” Dr Gekkogahara paused as she saw the expression on my face. “They didn’t tell you? I was part of a Danganronpa spin-off show. It was much more scripted than the ‘reality’ television show you were part of, but it still had many elements of Danganronpa’s core being. When I came out of my killing game, my partners, one of whom ‘won’ our season, told me they felt a lot of what you felt. And during my game, as my friends died around me, I wondered why I was still alive when they weren’t. I told myself I needed to survive for them, to keep going when they couldn’t. Eventually, I realised I needed to live for _myself_. And you need to realise that too, Shuichi. That won’t be easy to accept, not right now. But, one day, with therapy and help from your friends, I hope you will.”

I stared at her for what must’ve been the millionth time that day but... _wow._ “I- I’m sorry. You were part of a killing game? And you survived? So you know how I feel! And- and you have partners? And they won? You won, too, right?” 

Dr Gekkogahara laughed. It was a strange sound, coming from a computer. “I can’t tell you much about myself or my game, especially not while you’re still in recovery. But yes, I have two lovely partners who both participated in my season, actually. And yes, I do understand what you’re going through. It’s part of the reason I work with the survivors of each season.”

There was that word again. _Survivors._

“Oh. I see. Could...I meet some of the other survivors? Or- or your partners?” I could feel excitement rising in my chest. Someone who would understand what I was going through, people who had experienced it all too, maybe even friends…?

“Maybe,” Dr Gekkogahara said noncommittally. “Most of them don’t live anywhere near here anymore. I know Ryo- one of my partners keeps in touch with a few of our seasonmates. I could ask if any of them would be willing to meet up with you at some point but you have to keep in mind, Shuichi, most of them want to put Danganronpa behind them. Very few of us still associate with Team Danganronpa, let alone want to talk with people who are fresh out of it. But I can ask.”

“Oh. No, of course, I completely understand. Um...can I see Maki and Himiko?” 

“Well, that depends.”

“On what?” My leg started bouncing nervously as I watched her, scanning her face. I just needed to see them again, I needed to know they were alright-

“Well, I can’t clear you if you’re going to present a danger to yourself or the others.” Dr Gekkogahra blinked and the rabbit on her screen smiled up at me, clasping its hands- paws?- together. 

“No! No. I’m fine. I’m not a-a _danger_ to anyone!” I ran my hand through my hair. Dr Gekkogahara hummed. 

“I think that’s true. You seem to be doing...relatively well. How about this? I can explain what’s going on, where you are, all that. After that, you tell me how you’re doing and we’ll go from there. Sound good?”

I nodded. “Yes! Yes, please.”

“Everything Tsumugi told you was correct. You used to have a different personality and you signed up for Danganronpa’s 53rd season. It was a tv show that your old self willingly participated in. Danganronpa utilises virtual reality technology to ensure no damage comes to its participants. For the most part, at least. It’s been relatively perfected, with only symptoms of the specific death occurring. Most of these symptoms aren’t fatal and we’ve had a very high survival rate, especially with your season.”

“High survival rate?” 

“Everyone survived,” she confirmed. I instantly felt winded, like the air had been knocked out of my lungs. 

“E- everyone?” I murmured. 

“Everyone,” she repeated.

“K- Kaede? Kaito?”

“Yes. And all the others. When I say everyone, I really do mean all of you, Shuichi. You’re all alive.” 

“And I...I can see them all?” Part of me didn’t believe it.

“Yes. Starting tomorrow.” Dr Gekkogahra smiled at me- _really_ smiled, not with her rabbit. “You’ve been cleared. You still need to come to every therapy session I schedule for you, however.”

“I- yes, of course! That’s- everyone survived…” I smiled, my hand coming up to cover my mouth. Dr Gekkogahara laughed again. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, alright? Have a good night, Shuichi. The nurse should be coming over to take you over to your new room.”

“Okay, good night- wait. Good night? I- isn’t it the morning?” I asked, shaking my head. 

“No. In fact, it’s…” she paused, her eyes flicking down to the internal screen on her wheelchair, “5 pm. You woke up rather late. Oh- shoot. I have to go. It was lovely meeting you, Shuichi, I’m looking forward to our next session. I’ll see you later!” She left without another word. I blinked. Okay. 

A few moments later, the nurse from earlier came in. “You ready to go? Or do you have any questions?”

“Who’s still in the recovery rooms?” I asked. The nurse paused. “Please- I need to know.”

There were too many options. Kaito- he had been sick. Kaede suffered for 8 hours. Kiibo exploded. Tsumugi- as much as I disliked her for what she had done- she had been completely smashed. “Who?” I whispered. 

“Kokichi. Kokichi Ouma is still in the Intensive Care Unit. Everyone else has been in their respective recovery suit since waking up.” 

“...Kokichi?” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered Kokichi being the one there...

“Yes. He never seems to get better, poor dear. You know- it’s strange actually. Everyone has made significant progress other than him. Even Ms Shirogane, who sustained similar injuries, has almost no further side effects. And yet Mr Ouma still can’t even move his toes.” She sighed sadly before looking at me and smiling again. “But don’t you worry yourself about that, dearie. Come now, let’s get you off to your room.”

I blinked but stood and followed her through the hallways until we reached a long corridor of rooms. 

“Everyone _should_ be sleeping but you can see them in the morning, okay?”

“Oh-! Yes! Okay, thank you!” I smiled at her and, for what felt like the first time, it was genuine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! As always, feel free to let me know what you thought


	3. Chapter 3: Success and Error

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another really long chapter- sorry about that. Hopefully the next one won’t be 2500 words lmao
> 
> Enjoy the chapter !!

“Good morning!” The day started much like the last one had, with the nurse flinging open the curtains and scaring me half to death. “How are you doing, dear?”

“I- um, fine. Yeah. I’m fine. Morning. Is- is it actually morning this time?” I rubbed my eyes, trying to fully wake myself up. I swear if it was the middle of the day again-

“Oh, yes. 8 am on the dot! Well. Okay, not on the dot. It’s…” she paused, checking her watch, “8:17.”

“Oh. Okay. So... today’s the day?” A smile flickered on my face. I would get to see them all again...Kaede. Kaito. Everyone! I wondered if Maki and Himiko had already seen them...probably. How were they all doing? I hoped they were all okay. Mending. Healing. 

“Yep! You get to see everyone as soon as we get you some breakfast and your meds. Doc prescribed some stuff for anxiety and depression, real low dose, just in case, and she has stuff for PTSD on standby, and she can have anything she finds that you need pretty quickly.” The nurse ticked off each item on her fingers, smiling widely. 

“Wow... how’d she get all that so fast?” Did prescriptions really come that quickly…?

“One of the contestants from her season was the Super High School Level Pharmacist, she’s very good at making prescriptions quickly. Besides, a lot of prescriptions get filled day-of, especially when you’re engaged to a pharmacist-”

“Engaged?” The nurse blinked at me as I asked. 

“Oh- shoot. Um. Sorry, I’m not supposed to say that type of thing...please forget I mentioned that.” The nurse smiled nervously, tapping her fingers together. “Well...let’s get you down to the cafe and get you your meds, okay?”

“Sure...let me get dressed first. I’ll meet you in the hallway?” The nurse nodded and stepped into the hallway, leaving me alone. 

I could hardly believe that, soon enough, I’d get to see them all again. Kaede, Kaito, Kiibo…Maki and Himiko too, of course but...I never thought I’d see Kaede again. Or any of the others. 

I walked into the en suite, gripping the countertop as I stared at my reflection. I broke eye contact with myself and left the room. 

Once I was back in the main room, I grabbed a new set of clothes and changed. After pulling my shirt over my head, my eyes were drawn to something. 

My hat...it was sitting on the dresser, the same way it had when back in the- in the game. My fingers trailed over it. It looked the exact same. 

I considered putting it on, for a moment. But I didn’t think I needed it, not anymore. And...I wanted to show Kaede I had listened to her. 

I set it back down on the table and left the room. The nurse was waiting in the hall, going over a clipboard. When I stepped out, she looked up. 

“Alright, dearie, you ready to take your meds and grab some food?”

“Um...yeah. Yes. But can I wait to get food? I just...really want to see everyone.” I looked around the hallway, at the wall of half-closed doors. The nurse smiled. 

“Sure, we can put it off for a bit. But you do need to eat. We’ll give you an hour with your friends before you need to eat, alright? We want to put you on a schedule, especially for these first few days.” The nurse looked down at her clipboard again. “...alright! Everyone should be in the common room, it’s a space for you all to spend free time together. Follow me!”

We walked through the hospital, taking the elevator up to the fourth floor. The whole time, I was brimming with excitement. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been so...hopeful. Part of me worried that I would get there and none of my friends would really be there. But for the most part, I chose to believe it was true. 

I walked into the common room with the nurse and instantly felt tears spring to my eyes. They were all there. 

Maki and Himiko were the first people I saw. 

Himiko was sitting with Tenko, half in the taller girl’s lap, with Angie and...Korekiyo. 

Maki was with Kaede and Kaito. 

And it wasn’t just them. Miu, Kiibo, and Gonta were talking. Kirumi, Ryoma, Tsumugi and Rantaro.

All of my classmates. All of my friends. They were supposed to be dead. I _watched_ them die. And even so...here they were. Alive, in front of me. 

Just like Dr Gekkogahara had promised. 

“Oh! Shuichi!” Kaede jumped up, running over to me. She threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

“Kaede?” I murmured. My hands hovered at my side before flying up and tangling themselves in her soft hair. She smelled like peaches and perfection. “Kaede…!” The tears that had collected in my eyes started to fall. 

“Hey, it’s okay. No need for that,” she murmured, wiping away my tears. She pulled back, cupping my cheek. “I’m really happy to see you again, Shuichi.”

I sniffled and smiled at her. “I’m really happy to see you too, Kaede. Kaito, all of you. I-I never thought…” I trailed off, wiping my eyes and laughing shakily. 

“You really scared us there for a while, Shu!” Kaede exhaled in relief. “I was so worried…” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m not quite sure what happened…how have you all been?” I looked around the room again and when I turned back to Kaede, I noticed Rantaro’s arm around her. When had he even-?

Kaede followed my eyeline down to her shoulder, realisation dawning on her face. “Oh, Shuichi...I was gonna tell you. But you just woke up and I didn’t want to just-”

“It’s none of my business, Kaede. You didn’t have to tell me.” I looked down. I didn’t want her to see how hurt I felt. How could I not…?

I liked Kaede. And I thought she had liked me too. How excited she had been to see me, the hug, our time in the game together...Apparently, I had been wrong. 

“Well, in any case, I’m glad you’re awake. I’ll let you catch up with everyone.” Kaede hugged me again, pausing as she searched my face, before walking out of the room. Rantaro waved at me before jogging after her. 

“Where are they-” I started. I could hardly believe that she was already leaving. 

“Cafeteria,” Maki said dryly. “Or something. Better not to ask.”

“How are you, Maki?” I asked instead. She glanced at me. 

“Fine. I’m…” she trailed off, taking hold of one of her ponytails. Kaito laughed. 

“She’s good, we’re good.” Kaito grinned at me and I noticed his arm curl around Maki’s waist. My mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. 

“I’m happy for you two,” I finally said, smiling at them. And I was. Even if it hurt that both Kaede and Kaito were with people, and happy. Without me. But I was happy for all of them. 

“Thanks! How are you doing, Sidekick?” Kaito asked. I started smiling again instantly. Hearing him call me that…

I never thought I’d miss it that much.

“I’m okay,” I told him. “Um, waking up took longer than it was supposed to, I guess?” 

“You were supposed to wake up a week ago,” Maki deadpanned. I blinked. 

“A week? Really?” The nurse had said I was sleeping for a while but a whole week?

“Yeah, you had us really worried, Sidekick! Apparently, a few people haven’t woken up before so we were worried about you, bro.” Kaito grinned at me. “But nothing happened!” 

“I’m fine,” I confirmed. “Really, it was probably just a fluke. I’m sure it’s fine.”

Maki nodded. “Let us know if anything happens.” 

“I will. I’m gonna go say hi to everyone but I’ll be back, okay?” I smiled at them and Kaito pulled me into a hug. 

“We missed you, Shuichi.” I grinned against his skin, letting the musky scent he always seemed to smell like wash over me. It felt quite a bit like home. 

“I missed you too,” I murmured.

Pulling away, I walked over to Himiko, Tenko, Angie and Kiyo. “Hey!” 

“Shuichi!” Himiko jumped up, hugging my arm. “We were worried about you. My magic must have finally taken effect!” 

“Oh! Hi, Himiko.” I put my hand on her head and smiled at her. 

“Nyeh...tired now...lost all my MP when I gave you that healing spell just now…”

“Himiko! I’ll take you back to your room, okay?” Tenko jumped up. “You better thank her, Shuichi! She used all her MP to heal you!” 

“Ah...okay. Thank you, Himiko,” I said. Himiko nodded and was about to let Tenko lead her away when she paused. She hugged me again. 

“You’re really okay?” She asked. I nodded she smiled brightly. “Come find me later. I wanna spend some more time with you, okay?”

“Of course!” I smiled at her again and she walked off, leaving Tenko to chase after her. 

“Angie welcomes you back!” Angie smiled cheerily at me, taking my attention off Himiko’s rapidly retreating form. 

“Hi, Angie, Kiyo. How are you both?” 

“We’re adjusting,” Kiyo said, chuckling. “We’ve both come to realisations and we’ve both lost things. We’ve also gained many things. I think we’re alright, or least, we will be. In fact, I’d imagine that the same is true if you. ”

“Realisations…?” I asked. Kiyo’s eyes flicked to the side. 

“I’d prefer not to discuss that. But rest assured that I will not be attempting to make any ‘friends’ for that demoness and Angie won’t be attempting to convert you all to her cult.” 

“It was not a cult!” Angie exclaimed. “But Kiyo is correct, no more conversion.” She sounded sad, despite her smile. “Well, Angie hopes you have a good day, Shuichi.” 

I laughed, taking note of her dismissal and heading over to Miu, Kiibo and Gonta. “Hey! Well, would ya look at that, it’s Shyhara!” 

“Hello, Miu.” I smiled at her. “Gonta, Kiibo.”

“Why the fuck did ya take so long to wake up, huh? You had Bakamatsu and the idiot worrying their asses off!” Miu huffed. 

“I did?”

“Course. Both of em would go the fuckin ends of the earth for ya, Shyhara. So you better not freak em out again or I’ll smash your fuckin face in!” Miu threatened. 

“Miu!” Kiibo hissed. “What she means is that Kaede is a close friend of hers and she doesn’t want you to hurt her friends. _But_ what happened isn’t your fault. And Miu knows that.”

“Oh.” I paused. When did Miu and Kaede become close? “Um. How are you all?” 

“Gonta is good! Gonta made many friends!” Gonta smiled at me before crushing Miu into a hug. 

“Hey! Lemme go, ya big Care Bear!” Miu demanded, smacking Gonta’s arm. I winced. Gonta dropped her and Miu sighed in relief. 

“I’ve been alright as well. Not being a robot...is strange.” Kiibo laughed. 

“Oh! Yeah, what’s up with that?” I looked him over. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t noticed, but he very obviously wasn’t a robot. His skin had more colour than it did in the simulation and his hair looked like...well, hair. And those lines under his eyes were gone as well. 

“One of TDR’s...ah, plot points.” Kiibo laughed shakily. “They believed that a robot was more interesting than another inventor. And...they could have a special kind of traitor by making me into a robot.”

“Oh.” I looked down. That sounded awful. “I’m sorry.” 

Kiibo shrugged. “I wanted to be human, right?”

“Well...yeah. But still- going through that must’ve been...horrible.”

Kiibo shifted uncomfortably. “It’s fine. Um. I’m adjusting.”

I nodded. “I'm glad. I’m going to um, go see some of the others. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yes! We’ll see you soon, Shuichi.” Kiibo smiled at me. 

“See ya, dicktective!” I made a face and Miu laughed. “Alright get outta here, I’m sick of looking at ya.”

“Gonta will see you later, friend Shuichi!” Gonta waved and I walked over to Kirumi, Tsumugi and Ryoma. 

“Ah, Shuichi!” Tsumugi jumped up, a huge grin on her face. She pulled me into a hug. “Oh gosh, we were so worried!”

“T-Tsumugi?!” My mind was filled with the image of Tsumugi, smiling like a maniac, prattling on and on about Danganronpa, and how we were fake, and everything else she did that day. 

“Tsu!” Kirumi whispered harshly, grabbing Tsumugi’s arm. I froze, staring at them both. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Shuichi. I just- well, we can talk about it another time.” She smiled nervously at me, brushing through a strand of long, wavy blue hair. 

“Talk about- about Danganronpa?” I asked. Why would I want that? She blinked, pausing for a moment. 

“What? No- do you not know? Oh, then this is just plain embarrassing...I-I have to go!” Tsumugi stepped past me, hurrying out of the room. 

“Tsu! Ah...I should follow her. My apologies, Shuichi. It really is nice to see you.” Kirumi smiled at me warmly, touching my arm lightly, before bolting after Tsumugi. I stared after them. What had just happened?

“Hey.” I looked down to see Ryoma, with a piece of pocky in his mouth, held like a cigarette. “How ya doin, kid?” I sighed and Ryoma nodded. “Yep.”

“How are you?” I asked him. 

“Not dead anymore,” he said, chuckling. “She’s dating Tsumugi, by the way.”

“W-what?!”

“I could tell you wanted to know why she ran after her.” Ryoma shrugged. “I’m gonna go check on Gonta. Welcome back, Shuichi.”

I watched Ryoma walk over to Gonta before heading back over to Kaito and Maki. 

“Hey, Sidekick! Ready to go grab food?” Kaito clapped me on the shoulder.

“Um sure but...hey, is Kokichi okay? He’s not here…” I looked around again, wondering if I’d missed him somehow. 

Kaito rubbed the back of his neck. “... yeah. I saw him once, when we first woke up. He woke up after me so he wasn’t there when I woke up but a few nights later, but when I left my room, I heard muttering. It was coming from his room so I went to check it out. He was talking to himself, saying some real dark stuff. I was watching him for a while, he didn’t seem to notice me. Eventually a couple ‘a nurses walked in and put an IV in ‘im. He didn’t seem to notice whatsoever and he eventually passed out. I got him some of those flowers they have over in the gift shop and left him a note.” 

My heart rate spiked. “What?! Is he alright?”

Kaito shrugged. “I don’t know, bro. Haven’t seen him since. He’s not dead, that’s all I can tell you.” I sighed and covered my mouth. 

Muttering something? _Dark_ somethings? He was _sedated_? 

What happened to you, Kokichi?

Are you...alright?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4: For Which There Is No Replacement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “the strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time — filled with thousands of old books you’ll never have time to read, each of which is itself locked in its own era, bound and dated and papered over like an old room the author abandoned years ago, a hidden annexe littered with thoughts left just as they were on the day they were captured.”
> 
> happy holidays (most of them are over but still-) and enjoy the chapter !!

I’d like to say I spent my first few days back being productive, working on my recovery, trying to find a semblance of normalcy in this new world we had been thrust into. 

Instead, I spent my first few days with my friends on a couch watching our season of Danganronpa. They had all apparently seen it before, even Maki and Himiko, but they were nice enough to go through watching it all again with me. 

I got to learn more about everyone by watching it. There were these- interview things? Kind of? More like highlights, I guess. Information about us, our backstories, motives, everything a fan would want to know, I suppose. 

Kiyo’s talked about how his sister had gotten sick, made him his uniform, they had gotten close, she died, his travels, his murdering _99_ girls. He…left halfway through watching his and Angie quickly followed after him. Tenko and Himiko both seemed pretty tense watching it and eventually left too.

Kaede’s was about her life as a pianist, constantly working herself to breaking point and about her twin sister, which was kind of shocking. She never talked about her sister. In fact, she had never mentioned a sister to me. The only time I heard of one, other than just then, was from Tsumugi. Kaede looked uncomfortable during her reel, though, so I elected not to bring it up.

And then there was Kokichi. 

He didn’t have a highlight reel, aside from an ominous silhouetted photo of him with nine other people. But I think I still learned more about him anyways. Whenever he appeared alone on the show, usually after a trial, he was borderline manic. Pulling on his hair hard enough that I thought he would rip it out, pinching his skin, kicking his bed, writing furiously at his desk...he didn’t look good. Or healthy. It made me worried for him and it only got worse as the season progressed. Until the end of the fourth trial when there was a close up of his smile, after I had said something I regretted so much, as he muttered to himself about ending the game once and for all. And then he was strangely calm.

Kaito’s words rang in my head, about what had happened the night Kokichi woke up. I had so many more questions after I finished the season than I had gotten answered.

Our season ended with me, Maki and Himiko, standing next to each other and looking up. Looking up at our future. 

Apparently, _this_ was that future. 

I turned to see Kaede sitting next to me. “Well, what did you think?” Kaede asked excitedly. “Personally, I can’t say I loved it but it was certainly interesting, from an outside perspective, I guess. I mean, I can kind of see why we all used to like it? It’s a good show, honestly. It’s really well done.” She laughed quietly. 

“Um...I didn’t like it, to be honest. I don’t understand why anyone would.” 

“Oh.” Kaede’s face fell. “No, yeah, that makes sense. Sorry.” 

“W-what?! No, no, I mean, that’s not- it’s fine to like it, there’s nothing- nothing _awful_ about it, I guess. I just couldn’t see _myself_ watching it, is all I meant! If you like it-”

Kaede laughed again. “It’s alright, you have nothing to apologise for. I completely understand why you don’t like the show. I don’t either! But some parts of it were interesting, you know? I don’t like seeing people needlessly tortured like that, but if I didn’t know that the contestants didn’t remember it being a show? I can see why we used to enjoy it,” Kaede said, shrugging. A small smile lifted the edges of her lips as she looked up at me. 

“Oh- I-I see. That makes a lot of sense. I’m sorry-”

“Shuichi,” she murmured. Her hands were so soft and long and pretty… “You have nothing to apologise for.”

_God, I loved her._

I gently cupped her cheek, turning her to face me. “Kaede…” 

I leaned forward, kissing her. My lips buzzed with the pressure of hers against them but it was nice and my eyes fell closed. When I pulled back, I was smiling and so was she. 

She was smiling. Kaede was smiling after I kissed her. Did that mean that she felt the same? But what about Rantaro? Who cared about Rantaro when I had _Kaede_ with me?

Kaede’s voice dragged me out of my thoughts. “Shuichi, I have a boyfriend.” _A pity smile._ Of course. 

“I-I know.” I bit my lip nervously. 

“I love Rantaro very much. You know that, don’t you?” Her tone reminded me of how adults speak to children who have done something wrong. 

“I _know_ ,” I said again. God, of course, I knew that. I’d known that every time I saw them together, his arm draped around her shoulder or cuddling on the rec room couch. 

I still had hope. I couldn’t just give her up, I _couldn’t_. 

“So then why-?” Kaede squeezed my hand. 

I took a deep breath, deciding to just say it. I was done being timid. At least- for that moment, I was. “Because I love you, Kaede. Ever since the game-”

Kaede smiled softly. “Oh, Shuichi... that’s flattering, really. But I don’t think you love me.” I looked up at her, confused. “Shu, honey, we only knew each other for a few days. You’re one of my best friends but to say you love me? You can’t fall in love after a few days.”

But I had. She was the first friend I had made and I loved her. 

“B-but I do! Kaede, I really do!” I had to make her see that I was telling the truth. 

She shook her head. “You _don’t_. You might think you do, but you don’t. You really didn’t know me. I died too soon. Honestly, watching the show...I have no idea how we got so close,” Kaede said, laughing. “I mean, did we really just blindly trust each other like that? You could have been the mastermind for all I knew and I never even thought about that! Or the other way around, of course.” 

“But neither of us was the mastermind, so why does it matter?” 

Kaede sighed. “I’m just trying to tell you that there’s no way you’re in love with me, even if you think you are. And even if you find that you really, truly do love me, I’m in a relationship. And I’m happy. And, to put it bluntly, Shuichi, I don’t love you.” 

I flinched. “...I see.” 

“I’m sorry, Shu. I really do care for you, just not in that way. I think we’re better off as friends. I mean, did you even feel anything when you kissed me?” she asked. 

“Yes!” Thinking about it though...did I feel anything? “I think so, at least.” 

Kaede laughed quietly. “I’m glad to see you haven’t changed at all, even if our relationship isn’t what you expected or wanted. I hope we’ll still get to be friends, Shuichi.” 

“I’d like that,” I mumbled. Kaede smiled at me and stood up, brushing off her dark skirt. I missed seeing her in bright colours.

“I’ll see you later, Shu.” She squeezed my shoulder before walking off, her hips swaying. I sighed and leaned my head against my chair. 

That went absolutely _great_. 

I let myself wallow for a few minutes more before standing up and going back to my room. Walking into the bathroom, I stared into the mirror. I looked like hell. Dark circles under my eyes, making my skin look even paler than it already was. My eyes were dull and dead-looking, completely boring and colourless. Empty. No wonder Kaede hadn’t felt the same. Why would she?

_No one ever would. I didn’t deserve it._

I went back into the main room and flopped onto my bed, curling up around my pillows. 

I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my hat. I had stopped wearing it ever since Kaede died but at that moment, I was glad that it was real and not just part of the game. I draped it over my face and sighed. 

It smelled like cigarette smoke and, oddly enough, vellichor. I liked that, honestly. There was nothing better than sitting in a library, reading an old book. Vellichor was so oddly nostalgic and comforting. The hat smelled exactly the same as it had in the game, actually. That was nice. At least something hadn’t changed. 

Because everything else had. 

***

And elsewhere, another fell into the dark embrace of sleep, violet eyes flickering closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. Chapter 5: Dreams, Which Are A Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is- so late lmao I’m sorry (I’ve been watching old movies all day and now it’s 3am)
> 
> For this chapter, I recommend listening to the song “Once Upon a December”!! That’s part of what this was based on lmao and it’ll help set the overall tone for the chapter
> 
> Enjoy the chapter !!

_He looked around the room. It seemed so empty. Empty and still and beautiful. Dark and serene, lonely and forgotten._

_But he could sense a strange feeling of life underneath it all._

_Life in the tiled floor, in the mosaic of the ceiling, in the old paintings of gorgeous couples along the walls, in the chandelier dripping with crystals, in every aspect of the room he could sense it. Even empty and abandoned, he could sense it._

_He walked halfway down the staircase, observing every small detail he could. From the dull, faded colours of the chipping paint creating a large white swan on the ceiling to the windows, curtains drawn and forgotten. It was beautiful, even though it had long since fallen past disrepair._

_All of a sudden, a haunting melody filled the room. Shadowy figures seemed to phase into existence, waltzing around the room. He couldn’t make out their faces or anything more than the dark silhouettes but he knew they were gorgeous. A few of them struck something in him, teasing memories he couldn’t quite grasp._

_He watched them, swirling around each other. The women arching their spines as they leaned back, the men gracefully dipping them, pressing into the small of their backs before lifting them back up and continuing to dance, spinning._

_They were like cogs in a clock, moving effortlessly and beautifully. He envied how perfectly they moved, void of the awkwardness he was sure would be present were he to try and dance alongside them. He stood hesitantly on the grand staircase, the cold metal of the bannister burning his skin. Two figures, one woman and one man, broke away from the crowd, walking over to him._

_The figures took his arms and led him to the centre of the room, where a masked stranger, clearer than all the others, was seemingly waiting for him. The stranger took no other partners, despite having many offers. Their eyes were locked on him, a cold smile playing on their lips._

_The two figures pressed their ghostly lips against his cheeks before gently pushing him away, towards the stranger._

_The stranger stepped closer to him, their lips pulling into a smile and forming words he couldn’t hear. They got closer and closer still._

_Close enough that he could see the mask they wore in detail, could point out each shining gemstone and the intricate details sculpted around their eyes. Their outfit was inlaid with the same stones, light bouncing off them and making the stranger look like they were glowing. He couldn’t make out who they were, no distinct features popping out at him. But their eyes...like amethysts, they glittered with joy and mischief, deep and familiar. Familiar…like something he used to know, long forgotten._

_The stranger extended their hand, tilting their head in a question. He hesitated, looking over them. Something about those eyes..._

_He took their hand._

_The room sparked with life, colour seeping into everything._

_The figures dancing became clearer, ghost-like but still impossible to make out as to who they were. Women in ballgowns, glittering and gorgeous. The dresses ranged in colour from black to pink to blue to red to purple, yellow, orange, white, every colour he could think of. Some had flowers, others covered in gems or gold appliques. Sweetheart necklines, plunging v’s, cutouts, sleeveless, long sleeves, every type of dress he could imagine. The men wore suits, some modern and some victorian. Black coats, white doublets, billowing scarfs, ties. Masks adorned their faces, some covering nothing but their eyes, others disappearing into hat brims and hiding entire faces. All seemingly perfectly fitting to their owners._

_The ghostly couples whirled around them, looking beautiful and practised. Like royalty. They danced in sync, all moving at the same time in a strict waltz._

_He watched them, staying still. They were truly all perfect. “Don't worry,” the stranger seemed to say, the message clear in their eyes, “I’m here with you.”_

_The melody filled his head and he found himself loosening, relaxing, as the stranger pulled him into their arms._

_He sank into the stranger’s embrace, resting his head against theirs. They swayed for a few minutes, gradually beginning to mirror the phantasmic people around them._

_He put his hand on the stranger’s shoulder and his other one grasping theirs. They found their rhythm almost easily, whirling around the room with the others. The stranger hummed along with the melody, seeming to know it by heart._

_He lost himself in the music, watching nothing but the stranger as they spun and waltzed around the room, almost floating._

_The room glittered with life and love, joy and jubilance. The ghostly couples slowed to watch the two of them, dancing in the centre of the room as though they were the only ones who mattered._

_And truly, they were._

_He was completely focused on the stranger-no, his partner- the beautiful room and haunting figures fading from his mind. And his partner never once looked away from him with those daring orchid eyes._

_Their fingers gripped his, sending jolts up his arm. They held him close, safe and warm, more so than anything he could remember. They led him effortlessly, their hand resting at his hip._

_He didn’t know how much time passed as he stared into those indigo eyes. They intrigued him, his partner capturing every ounce of his attention. The way their smile looked, how gracefully they glided across the ballroom floor, pulling him along and easing all of his anxieties, the emotions sparkling in their eyes._

_He stared into that purple abyss, looking for what, he didn’t know. Behind that mischief, he saw sadness and pain and he felt the urge to pull his partner close and replace that sadness with something else._

_His partner winked and all of a sudden, he was being thrust out, only kept upright by his partner’s tight grip on his hand. He spun back and they pulled him against their chest, smiling up at him. His heartbeat hammered in his ears. That was terrifying, he thought. Terrifying...and exhilarating. Wonderful._

_He looked down at his partner, grinning. He would have spoken if he could have. He didn’t want to disturb the peaceful feeling of the room, the silence broken only by the melody and his partner’s voice as they hummed along to it, soft and delicate and beautiful._

_He realised how close they were together, faces only inches apart._

_He wanted to be closer._

_It seemed his partner did too. Closer and closer, they inched towards each other. He tilted his head down and he could feel his partner’s breath against his face. Closer and closer still they got. His lips parted and he leaned down until there were only centimetres between them. His partner’s eyes fluttered closed as he gently cupped their cheek._

_Centimetres apart...getting ever closer, closer each moment that passed until their lips were a hair’s breadth apart. So close that he could have moved, even just a small bit, and they’d be connected._

_But not yet._

_He savoured in the moment. In how gorgeous his partner was, even though they were concealed from him. The way those eyes blinked up at him shyly, lips parted in waiting, chest rising and falling quickly._

_He could hardly stand it._

_“Don't go yet,” his partner murmured, “stay with me, darling.”_

_And oh, how he wanted to. He never wanted to leave his partner’s arms, entranced by their kaleidoscope eyes. He moved closer, finally ready to seal the distance. The words, beyond that, didn’t register, he didn’t think to wonder as to why he wouldn’t be able to stay._

_The room seemed to sway, fading and blurring, before going completely dark._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6: Dreams, Which Are A Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck- y’all I’m sorry, I keep forgetting to update. Updates will resume as per usual next Saturday
> 
> You can consider this more of a chapter 5.5 than a real chapter 6 but I’m calling it chapter 6 anyway (also yes, this is a slightly edited chapter from the original, sue me)
> 
> Enjoy !!

It’s time. There’s no going back now. The cold metal of the press beneath him burns. It’s hitting him, now. The fear. 

He doesn’t want to do this. 

He doesn’t have a choice. 

He wishes he could go back. 

The scenarios run through his mind. The press comes down and he’s smashed into a million pieces. Or it’s slow and he doesn’t die for what feels like too long. He can feel himself get crushed. Right up until he’s squished flat, he can feel it. The press slowly coming to a stop...beautiful, horrible, wonderfully pink blood dripping from its edges like a macabre metal pastry. 

Maybe, were he to be smashed into a million pieces, bits of him would be scattered around the room. Shards of the villain, split off and hidden for them to find later, maybe. 

He shakes off the thought. He doesn’t really want to think about that. Not yet. 

He looks up instead. Looks up at the thick metal about to come down on him, hovering over him, ready to fall at any moment. All of a sudden, it starts. The room is filled with the steady hum of the press, whirring in his ears and blocking out everything. Everything but his heartbeat, pounding in his ears, screaming at him, telling him to run-

It gets closer. And closer. It feels suffocating. He can feel panic building in his chest. 

It takes all of his will not to bolt off the metal bed. 

But he can’t, even if he wanted to. 

Because even if he stops it, quits the plan, he’ll still die. 

If he dies any other way, he can’t save them. 

No, this is the only way. The only way to outsmart the mastermind and keep everyone else alive. 

He has to do this. 

He has to keep them alive. 

That’s funny, he thinks. He’s trying to keep them all alive and they all hate him. They want him to die but all he wants is for them to survive. It’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. It’s illogical, he thinks. He shouldn’t want to protect people who wouldn’t do the same for him, shouldn’t want to save them when they want him to die, to leave and never come back. 

And yet, here he is. About to stage one last great prank and save them all. 

He may be trying to save them, but he’s the furthest thing from a hero. It’s not like he doesn't deserve their hatred. He wants them to hate him. 

But at the same time, all he wants is for them, at least one of them, to care. To care about him. To think about him. To protect him. 

But he made sure that was impossible. 

It was on purpose, of course it was. And even so...he can’t help but feel hurt, in these last moments, that none of them even tried to see past it. They took it at face value and now here he is...alone and about to die a villain. 

He regrets it all. He finally admits it to himself, letting his walls fall around him. He has nothing to hide from anyone anymore, not even himself. 

He can finally admit to himself how much he truly hates what he has done, who he's become, the monster that he truly is. They have reason to hate him. He’d be surprised if they didn’t. 

He doesn’t care. 

He just wants to save them. Even if it is all his fault. Even if everything he did only served to ruin everything and make it all worse. 

So, no, he is not a hero. He doesn’t want to be one either. He is simply trying to save people he cares about the only way he knows how. 

The cold of the press shoots through him once more and the only thought in his head is “cold”. But he doesn’t want to think about it anymore. He just wants to think about them. For a little while longer. 

But he can’t. 

It’s all he can think about now. 

Cold. Cold, cold cold. 

So cold. 

So impossibly cold. 

It hurts. 

It really hurts. 

He can’t see the room anymore. That’s weird. Why can’t he see the room? He should be able to see the room. Why can’t he? Fear spikes through him. Oh god. Did his plan fail?! Did he calculate incorrectly? Has Maki’s poison seeped through him already, killing him before the press could? No no no no no-

Part of him thinks it means he’s about to wake up. He’s going to wake up and he’s going to be **home**. None of this would have been real. It was all a dream turned into a nightmare. 

He knows that’s not true. He knows he’s going to die. He knows this is the end. It’s almost...comforting, death. 

But why this, of all ways? Why did he choose this? 

It was stupid of him to choose this. He’s claustrophobic. He hates the cold. He doesn’t want to **die alone** -

Perhaps it’s a punishment. He’s taken the role of judge, jury and executioner on his own trial. He finds himself guilty on three counts of conspiracy to murder in the first degree. He doesn’t think he can be charged with first-degree murder since he never killed anyone with his own hands. That’s a stupid rule, he thinks. He forced others to kill. Planned out murders. Why shouldn’t he be held accountable for killing them? He’s guilty of being a horrible person too, but he doubts that’s punishable. The three counts of conspiracy will have to do, he thinks. That’s more than enough to earn this death penalty. 

He laughs to himself. He’s been sentenced to death. He’s claustrophobic, autophobic and hates the cold and so he’ll die alone, surrounded by the cold, crushed to death!

How funny. How utterly horrifying. 

The press is getting closer to him. He can’t breathe anymore. It hurts too much. He thinks his ribs have probably shattered, maybe punctured his lung. He doesn’t know the specifics of how it would work. He can only give his best guess. He wants it to be over but he hopes it lasts longer. He deserves to suffer in his last moments. He realises that even if it didn’t hurt to breathe, he can’t inhale anyway. There’s no room. 

There’s no room there’s no room there’s no room there’s no room there’snoroomthere’snoroomthere’snoroom **THERE’SNOROOM** -

He’s alone. The detective was right, he thinks. He was alone and he is alone, he’ll die alone. It’s his fate. It’s unchangeable. 

It’s now that he’s becoming aware of the pain in his head. It’s getting worse every second. Everything hurts now. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts- 

It hurts so bad. 

He doesn’t want to hurt anymore. 

That wish seems to come true. He feels warm and numb and happy and tired. 

He’s so tired. 

But he can’t sleep, it hurts too much again to sleep. 

He thinks that maybe- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading !!


	7. Chapter 7: Comfort...And Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh- I can’t think of anything to say here this time so thank you all for the support this, it means a lot <3
> 
> Slight warning for panic attacks

A scream sounded, ripping me from my dreams. There was no time to even think about them before I sat bold upright and threw off my covers, bursting out of my room. Kaito, Maki, Tenko, Kiibo, Miu and Ryoma were already in the hallway and Kaede’s door was wide open. 

“What happened?!” I looked at Maki, panic coursing through my veins. 

“Kaede had a nightmare. Rantaro went in there already.” Maki crossed her arms. “You can go in, if you want. Most of us are just letting Rantaro handle it.”

“By that, she means we’re not allowed in!” Miu said angrily. “Bitch keeps stopping us from going to see the piano freak!”

“Oh...um, is it really okay for me to go in then?” I asked Maki. She nodded. 

“You and Kaito might be helpful. As for _you_ , Miu, there’s a reason I’m not letting you go in,” Maki snapped. Miu flinched away from her. 

“W-what?!” Miu whined. 

I stepped into the room, leaving a whimpering Miu to be comforted by Kiibo. Those two had been awful close to each other recently, more so than in the game, even. 

Kaede was sniffling, hugging her knees to her chest. Rantaro had his arms around her, gently petting her hair. 

He looked up as I walked in, smiling at me. “Kay...? Shu’s here. Are you alright if I let go?” Kaede nodded and I walked over to her quickly. 

“Kaede? Are you alright?” I stood in front of her awkwardly until she gestured for me to sit down. “Kaede?”

She shook her head and pulled me into a hug, burying her face in my chest. I felt my face heat up as she hugged me tightly. I hesitantly reached up to stroke her hair, the way Rantaro had. It was so soft and had that same peachy scent I had noticed when I first saw her.

“What’s wrong?” I murmured. She pulled back to look at me. Her eyes were wet and shiny, tears rolling down her cheeks, and her face was red and blotchy. Even so, she still looked perfectly gorgeous. 

“It was horrible...just over and over...the way it dug into my throat and the look in your eyes...and the music...” she trailed off, covering her mouth as she sobbed again. I swallowed. So it had been _that_ kind of nightmare. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I-it wasn’t real, remember? It was just a bad dream. It was awful and you’re scared but it’s over now. Right?” I gently tipped up her chin and smiled at her. She returned it, even though she was still crying. 

“You’re right...thank you, Shuichi. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she murmured. She pressed her fact into my chest, hugging me again. 

“Oh- Kaede, it’s okay, really. Do you need me to do anything?” I asked quietly. She shook her head. 

“No...just be here with me, for a while? It’s just nice to be around you…” 

My heart throbbed in my chest and I rested my head on top of hers. “It’s nice to be around you too, Kaede...being your friend makes me so happy, you know? Just being around you makes me happy.”

Kaede lifted her head, sniffling. “Shu...I love being your friend, so so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I don’t do that much...I’m just kind of here,” I said, laughing. Kaede put her hands on my shoulders. She was still crying and sniffling, but she had a determined look on her face. 

“Are you _crazy_? Shuichi, you’re my absolute best friend. If anything good came from Danganronpa, it was you. Well- everyone. But especially you and Rantaro. Watching the show back...watching _us_ , I really realised how excited I am to get to know you, you know? We spent so much of our time freaking out about the game that I didn’t even get to know you that well.”

“Ah...that’s true, isn’t it. Well, I hope we get to know each other better, Kaede.” I smiled at her. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah. Tonight just reminded me how awful the game was...I almost enjoyed watching the show at first. Like, it became something that was _just_ a show I could enjoy. The drama, the suspense...but tonight reminded me that it really was horrible.” Kaede looked down. 

“I mean...it’s a good show, I guess? If you like it-”

“I don't,” Kaede assured me. “Not before and especially not after tonight.” 

“O-oh. Well, either way. It’s okay to enjoy it? In the end, it _is_ just a tv show,” I mumbled. Kaede smiled at me, taking my hand.

The whole conversation felt so familiar to me, until I remembered an almost identical one only yesterday. The memories began to wash over me and I winced internally. _Ouch._

“You’re too sweet, you know that? You should take some more time for yourself instead of worrying about me all the time. I really appreciate you, Shu. Thank you.” Kaede pulled me into a hug. “I think I’m gonna spend some time with Taro right now, but I’ll come see you later, okay?”

“Oh. I mean, yes, of course. Are you okay?” I asked again. Kaede shrugged one shoulder. 

“I'm doing better but...you know.” Kaede glanced at Rantaro. “I’d like to just-”

At that moment, a nurse walked into the room. 

“Oh. I see everyone came to check on you, huh?” The nurse smiled at Kaede. She laughed and nodded. “You have a good group here, Miss Akamatsu. Don’t lose ‘em, alright?” 

“I’m trying not to,” she said happily. “What can I do for you?”

“Actually, it’s more what _I_ can do for _you_. Can you tell me what happened?” The nurse took one of the empty chairs, spinning a pen between his fingers. Kaede took a shaky breath. 

“Sure…” 

“Oh, before that, why don’t we have everyone else head back to their rooms for now, alright? It’s awfully late and you all need your rest. Coming out of a traumatic event like Danganronpa…” The nurse shook his head, sighing. “I don’t know why they’re still running that game.” 

“D-do we have to go?” I asked shakily, biting my lip. I couldn’t leave her here. Alone. I wouldn’t leave someone alone again. _Not after_ **_him._ **

“Yes, I’m sorry.” The nurse looked at me, questions flashing in his eyes. I broke eye contact, and stared at the floor. 

When I was back in my room, my mind was flooded with thoughts of him. 

It was haunting, horrible. 

His laughter echoed in my ears. Smiles, real or fake I couldn’t tell, ghosted through my memories. I could’ve sworn he was really there, trying to trick me into playing his games, trying to lie his way out of everything, trying to push every button I had, trying to do I didn’t know what.

Before long, my breathing had accelerated, catching in my throat, and my vision went spotty. The room felt like it was closing in around me and through it all…

I could feel his eyes on me, hear his laughter running through my mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading !!


	8. Chapter 8: Cookies, Coffee and Dr Gekkogahara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh- this was actually supposed to be part of last chapter and then I forgot to add it so I made it longer and now it’s a full chapter and my original chapter outline is very much screwed up
> 
> Enjoy? 😂

I pressed the call button next to my bed and the nurse who had been in Kaede’s room came in a few minutes later. “Hey, buddy. You doin’ alright? What’s going on?” 

I shook my head, still not ready to talk. My thoughts still attacked me, telling me how horrible I was, how I failed them all, how I didn’t deserve to survive. Through it all, his cheshire grin haunted me.

“Okay...did you take your meds yesterday night?” His voice barely registered. 

“I-I don’t know,” I murmured. He nodded. 

“That’s fine. We’ll give you the dose early, you just won’t take one when you get up later, alright?” The nurse looked me over. “D’you wanna talk to the doc? Or do you want to get some cookies or something?” 

I shook my head again. “I-is Kaede okay?” I felt nauseous. 

“Yeah, yeah, she’s fine. Feelin’ a lot better. Let’s focus on you right now.” 

“N-no, I’m fine,” I said quietly. The nurse sighed. He gently reached out to touch my shoulder, his fingers just brushing my jacket before I flinched away from him. 

He backed up, holding his hands up in surrender. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Let’s go talk with the Doc, get you something to eat, okay? You’re safe here, promise.” Safe? No, no, I wasn’t safe. I’d never be safe again. They owned me. I’d never be safe with them _constantly breathing down my neck-_

“No. I don’t need to talk to Dr Gekkogahara, I’m fine!” I snapped. 

“Listen, I can’t force you to do anything, Mr Saihara, but I _strongly_ encourage talking with Doc. She went through a KG of her own, as I’m sure you know. She can understand what’s going on with you.” The nurse set a paper cup down on the nightstand. “I’ll be outside. You can change if you like, and take your meds. Then we’ll go see Doc.” 

I worried my lip for a moment and nodded. 

The nurse smiled at me and stepped outside. 

Once he was gone, I stepped into the en suite, grabbing a cup and filling it with water. I took the pills and winced as they stuck in my throat for a moment. I stared at myself in the mirror, disgust overcoming my features. 

All I saw was the face of a failure and a murderer. 

Once I was back in my room, I grabbed my hat and put it on, instantly feeling much safer and calmer than I had before. I took a shaky breath. 

I walked into the hallway. “Please don’t tell the others about this,” I murmured. The nurse nodded. 

“Are you okay if I take your arm or do you wanna walk on your own? I’m just here for stability, you look a little woozy.” He held out his hand. 

I leaned away from him. “No, thank you. I’m fine.” I preferred not being touched, even I _did_ feel dizzy.

The nurse nodded again. “Okay. Let’s go grab you something to eat and drink first then we’ll go see Doc.” I swallowed and followed him into the cafeteria’s kitchen. 

“Coffee, please.” I leaned against the countertop, waiting for the sound of the coffeemaker to start. 

“You sure that’s a good idea? It can make your nerves worse-” 

“ _Yes._ I’m not a child, I know what I want.” I reached for the coffee, the nurse grabbing it before I could.

“Okay, no need to get upset. Coffee it is. You want something to eat?” he asked. He started the coffee maker and the room was filled with the low hum of it. 

“Not really,” I said. 

“Why don’t we warm up some cookies? What’s your poison? Chocolate chip? Snickerdoodle? Sugar?” I gagged at the last suggestion and he laughed. “Not a sugar cookie man, then?”

“Chocolate chip is fine, I guess,” I muttered. 

“Traditional! I like your tastes. Plus, coffee and chocolate make a great mix.” The nurse opened the large fridge, pulling out a tray of chocolate chip cookies. He put a few in a small toaster oven. 

“I wouldn’t know,” I grumbled. 

“No? You don’t strike me as a sweets guy, that’s understandable.” He grabbed the coffee mug and cookies, putting them onto a plate. “Alright, let’s go see Doc. She should be in still, I’m pretty sure she’s on a late shift tonight…”

We walked through the mostly empty hallways. I held one of the cookies in my mouth, occasionally pulling it out to take a sip of the coffee.

The nurse knocked on Dr Gekkogahara’s office door and opened it. “Doc? You in?”

“I’m here,” called a high pitched voice. There was a robotic lilt to it, the same one I had heard nearly every other day for the past few weeks. 

“Hey, Doc,” the nurse said. He was smiling widely as he led me into the room. “Brought you some cookies and your favourite patient!” 

Dr Gekkogahara laughed, although it still sounded odd coming out of her computer’s avatar. “I see! How are you doing, Shuichi?” 

“He had a rough night. We aren’t sure if he took his meds today, I gave him an early dose just in case and we got him some coffee and a few cookies. He’s calmed down a lot but he doesn’t seem to want to be touched.” 

Dr Gekkogahra nodded. “A lot of people don’t like to be touched when they’re upset and he’s reported as much to me. He seems to have a bit of a hyper-sensitivity to touch, however. Nothing to worry about though. Was he alright other than that?”

“Well- we wouldn’t be here if he was, yeah? You’re sure it’s nothing more?” The nurse asked. 

“Yes. It’s possible it was implemented when TDR rewrote his brain, part of their scrapped Love Hotel idea. It’s also possible that it’s just a quirk of his, an aversion to touch from people he doesn’t know well. He’s stated that he doesn’t mind certain people touching him, such as his fellow survivors or his two best friends but other people touching him, even relatives or other friends from his season, tends to make him heavily uncomfortable.” They were talking about me like I wasn’t there. Dr Gekkogahara’s eyes flicked back to me. “Shuichi, let’s talk.” 

The nurse took that as his cue to leave and offered me a smile. “I’ll see you later, buddy.” _God, I hoped not._

“See you later, Nishimura!” Dr Gekkogahara called after him. The rabbit on her screen turned back to me. 

“Hi, Dr Gekkogahara,” I said. 

“It’s been a few days since I saw you last.” Dr Gekkogahara typed something into her computer. “What’s going on?”

“Um...I had a weird dream and then Kaede was upset, she had a nightmare. And I-I feel like I made it worse? And then...um, I started- started thinking about- about _him_. And it just- I got- it was- I panicked a small bit, I guess. And I tried to force myself to calm down and that all made it worse and I just-” 

“You know you _can’t_ make a panic attack just ‘go away’, right?” Dr Gekkogahara asked. I nodded. 

“Yes. But I couldn't afford to freak out, I had to stay calm for Kaede...I had to be okay so that she could call me if she needed me and I had to make sure she was okay.”

“Even if doing so caused you to have panic attacks?” Dr Gekkogahara’s eyes narrowed. It was the first movement I had ever seen out of her and not the rabbit. Did the rabbit have a name-? I made a mental note to ask her at a better time. 

“Well, yes. Kaede is...well, she’s my soulmate,” I said. “ _Platonic_ soulmate, I guess, but we’re meant to be in each other’s lives. I know that.”

Dr Gekkogahara sighed. “Okay. So no change on that front then. Anything else you want to discuss about Kaede?”

“I- I don’t know.” My eyes flicked away and landed on the nearly untouched plate of cookies and half-drunk coffee cup. 

“Why do you think you made her feel worse? You mentioned that, didn’t you?” 

“Uh. Yeah. I guess. I don’t know. I just feel like I can’t... _do_ anything _right._ And I just- I can’t- how am I supposed to help Kaede and be there for her when I can’t stop feeling like…” I trailed off, sighing in frustration. I _knew_ I had to get over her. I _knew_ that. Of course I did. But…

“Feeling like…? Do you mean your feelings towards Kaede?” Dr Gekkogahara asked. The avatar on her monitor held its paw up to its cheek. 

“...yeah, I guess.”

“Shuichi, I don’t want to- okay. You mentioned that you didn’t know how to feel after you kissed her. It felt- I think the word you used was ‘strange’, right? Like, not _right_ but not _wrong_ either? And yet you keep telling me that you have feelings for Kaede. Tell me why, Shuichi.” Her avatar clasped its hands- paws?- together as heart floated over its head. Did the avatar have a name…? I made a mental note to ask at a better time. 

But why _was_ I so sure I had feelings for Kaede? Everything Dr Gekkogahara said made sense, Kaede was with someone else… “I don’t know. It just feels _right_. I guess. Like I’m supposed to like her. But my dreams seem to tell me that I like her too…”

“Hmm. Okay. We’ll get to the ‘feeling right’ part later, let’s focus on the dreams. Tell me about those.”

“Um, okay. In them, I’m dancing with someone. They’re wearing a mask, so I can’t really see them and the dream ends with us, um, about to- er, getting closer. Like a few inches apart, maybe. And then I wake up.” I bit my lip, my face burning. 

“And what about that makes you so sure it’s Kaede?”

“Well...she’s the only one I’ve kissed. And um, the person in my dreams have purple eyes. And Kaede has purple eyes. So, um…” I gestured feebly with my hands. 

“I see. Is there anyone else with purple eyes who it could be? I know one of your other friends, Kaito has purple eyes. And one more of your classmates does, if I remember correctly. I haven’t met him but I believe Kokichi has purple eyes? You've mentioned Kokichi quite a bit in our previous sessions. Could it be him?” Dr Gekkogahara’s fingers flew across her keyboard, filling the room with a quiet tapping sound. 

“Kokichi? No. No, there's no way. Even Kaito is more likely to be the person beneath the mask! I’m sorry, Dr Gekkogahara, but there’s no way you’re right. I don’t like Kokichi, at all. I haven’t seen him in...god knows how long. It’s just not possible.” 

“I see. It’s getting late, Shuichi. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss before you head off to bed?”

I looked away, the apparent dismissal sparking tears. _Damnit._ “Um, no. I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow evening, alright? Make sure to take your meds. Have a good night, Shuichi.”

“You too, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr Gekkogahara.”


	9. Chapter 9: Freudian Slips and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the author attempts humour but has no sense of comedy and thus brilliantly fails 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter

I spent the next few weeks spending entire days with Kaede, Kaito, Maki and Rantaro, the latter of which was only there because of Kaede and we all knew it. Anytime he wasn’t with Kaede, he was with Tsumigi, Kirumi, Ryoma and Kiyo, Miu, Kiibo and Gonta or Angie, Tenko and Himiko. 

Throughout that time, the feelings I had, or thought I had, for Kaede dissipated. She was right, we really were better as friends. And Dr Gekkogahara had been right too, I think. I really didn’t feel a romantic connection with Kaede aside from thinking she was a wonderful person who I admired a lot. But I didn’t want to kiss her again. 

Dr Gekkogahra’s words about the masked stranger from my dreams played in the back of my head. If not Kaede, who? It wasn’t Kokichi, that just wasn’t possible. I eventually settled on it being some kind of fluke. Dreams were a representation of desires, but they didn’t _need_ to be tied to a specific person. 

Kaede was laying on my bed, her hands draped over her stomach and her hair spilling off the edge of the bed. “So...do you have a crush on anyone, Shuichi? What about that cute girl I saw you talking with in the cafeteria? Or what about someone in our class? A lot of them are dating already but you could make a cute thruple with a lot of them! Ooh, especially Maki and Kaito!” 

“Thruple?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. 

“Yeah, you know, like a couple but three people? A thruple.” She said it like it should’ve been obvious.

“Well, either way, I really don’t like anyone, Kaede. ” I was too close to everyone in my class and I didn’t spend enough time with anyone outside of it. I couldn’t imagine dating any of the people I knew. “And isn’t Kaito straight?”

Kaede thought about that for a moment. “He didn’t have any issue kissing Rantaro when we played truth or dare, so I don’t think so. I don’t know though, we never talked about it.” 

“Wait, what? He kissed Rantaro?” My eyes widened in disbelief. “Were you two not together or…? And what about Maki? He was really okay with doing that?”

Kaede laughed. “No, Rantaro and I were dating. And Maki and Kaito were dating too. Besides, it was just for a game. Angie dared Rantaro to kiss a random person and we used a wheel decide and it chose Kaito and Kaito was like ‘yeah, bro, bring it on!’ and they kissed. He can’t say no to a dare, you know.” I started laughing. “What?” Kaede asked. 

“No, it’s nothing, just your Kaito impression,” I said, still laughing. She grinned. 

“Oh, I know. Spot on, right? Kaito Momota, Luminary of the stars! Come on, sidekick!” Kaede deepened her voice comically, making a strange expression as she did. I laughed again. 

“Kaede- _stop_!” I was still laughing, harder than I had in god knows how long. 

“Bro, come on, dude! You know you want to hear more of Kaito Momota, luminary of the stars! Gimme a hug, sidekick!” Kaede started giggling. 

“You sound _just_ like him,” I told her. Kaede laughed again. 

“You flatter me. Okay, but really, Shu. You don’t have a crush on _anyone_?” Kaede raised her eyebrows in disbelief. I shook my head. 

“Nope. I’m too close to everyone now. And even those who I'm not super close with, I just can’t see myself dating. Honestly, the only people I ever saw myself even _liking_ romantically were you and-” I stopped. “J-just you.” ‘And’? There was no ‘and’. _There was no ‘and’._

“No, no! You said ‘and’! Who is it? Huh? Please, you have to tell me! I won’t be mad if it’s Rantaro, promise! We could share him!” Kaede said, winking. I laughed and shook my head. 

“No, no one. I don’t even know why I said ‘and’. It was just a slip. I only ever liked you, Ko-” I paused, my expression souring. “You, Kaede.” I looked down nervously, toying with the brim of my hat. I wasn’t wearing it anymore but it was still comforting to have nearby. It made me feel...safe.

“A Freudian slip!” Kaede exclaimed. I looked back up at her. “You know, when you accidentally say something and it reveals your subconscious feelings!” 

“Oh, right. Um no. No Freudian slip. It really was just a mistake. Probably cause I’ve got things on my mind.” _Not Kokichi. It didn’t matter what Dr Gekkogahara thought. The dream wasn’t about him, I didn’t like him. I couldn’t._

“Like what?” Kaede asked brightly. I shook my head again.

“Nothing. Can we move onto something else, please?” 

Kaede puffed out her cheeks, pouting. A moment later, she was smiling again. “Let’s play a game! I’ll name each of our classmates and you tell me your 110% honest opinions on them! You have to say how you really feel. I promise, it stays here so don’t worry about it getting around. Okay?”

“Um...I don’t know, Kaede.” I ran my fingers up and down the black T-shirt I was wearing, focussing on the soft feeling of the fabric beneath my fingers. “I don’t think that would be the best idea…”

“Oh, come on, please?” She batted her eyelashes. 

I groaned. “Fine. But you have to play too.”

She clapped her hands excitedly. “Yes! Okay, let’s start with Rantaro. I love him, obviously. He’s really sweet and smart and creative. Plus, he tells great stories! Your turn!”

“Um...I think he's alright? He’s...pretty, I guess. And really nice. I like him but he can be kinda cold sometimes. N-no offence or anything!” I bit my lip nervously. Kaede laughed. 

“None taken! People say that a lot, I don't see it though. Let’s see... who’s next? Hmm...oh, Kaito! I think Kaito is really sweet and a little bit dumb sometimes but he’s super supportive and really nice! Plus, he’s super smart about stars and stuff, which is really cool! I like hanging out with him.” Kaede grinned. 

“Uh, yeah. He’s my biggest supporter and he always pushes me to be better. I like him a lot, he’s one of my best friends.” I smiled softly. “I hope we can still train together once we get out of this place.”

“Aww, you two are so sweet! Okay, let’s finish up the ‘training trio’ then and do Maki! I really like Maki, I think she’s really smart and her soft side is super cute!” Kaede giggled. 

“Maki has a soft side? Well, I like her a lot too. We can spend time together and do nothing, if that makes sense? Just sit there and that’s enough. I like hanging out with her.” I smiled again, thinking about the times in the past few weeks when Maki and I had sat next to each other in the hospital’s garden and just said nothing. We didn’t even need to look at each other. Just sat and closed our eyes. 

“Aww, sweet. Okay, who’s next?” The ‘game’ went on for a while, Kaede listing every member of our class. Until eventually-

“Kokichi!” Kaede declared. I paused. 

“Um...well...I think Kokichi has a serious lying problem. And that he’s too closed off from the rest of us. I mean, why hasn’t he come out of his room? Why did he think he had to lie to us all? Why couldn’t he trust us? Why did he think _I_ was trustworthy? Why me, out of everyone?” I glared down at the sheets of my bed. Even after watching our season, I still didn’t have a real answer to those questions, aside from just that he didn’t trust anyone. Kaede smiled sympathetically.

“You’re a good person, Shuichi. That’s why.” She took my hand, squeezing it. 

“But I’m not! H-he trusted me and I told him that he’d be alone. Forever. Kaede, I told someone they deserved to die alone! And then he _did_! Oh god, do you think he did it because of me?! Is that why he said that stuff about ending the game after our argument after Gonta’s-... after what happened to Gonta? Kaede, did I _kill_ Kokichi?!” I bit my lip. I hadn’t even really noticed my spiralling until Kaede reached up, cupping my cheek. 

“Of course not, hon. _He_ created his plan and _he_ went through with it. You didn’t shoot him with a poisoned arrow, you didn’t send the press onto him, you didn’t kill him. I bet he’d agree with me if he were here,” Kaede said quietly. She smiled at me. 

“‘If he were here.’ We’re speaking about him like he’s dead when he’s a floor below us in the ICU. Oh god. He’s in the ICU. That’s why he hasn’t come to see us all. Kaede, he’s in the _ICU._ The ICU! That means there’s something seriously wrong, Kaede! And we haven’t gone to see him! Oh god. What if he dies?! What if he dies and we never went to see him?! What if he dies and we don’t get to say goodbye?! Again! What if he dies alone again? What if he dies and I never get to talk to him again?! Or confess- _confront_ ,” I corrected. “Never get to confront him about what he did.”

“Shu, did you just-?” Kaede looked up at me, eyes wide. 

“No, I don’t know...it just kinda came out, I wasn’t really thinking,” I murmured. I had nothing to confess. _She wasn’t right._

“Another Freudian slip!” Kaede exclaimed. She gasped in excitement. “Maybe he’s the ‘and’!”

“The ‘and’?” I asked. Kaede nodded. 

“From when you slipped up on who you liked. Shuichi, do you like Kokichi?” She sounded so excited. I didn’t know why, that would be nothing but bad.

“That’s insane, Kaede.” I twisted my hair between my fingers, my other hand still fiddling with my shirt. I got restless when I was nervous. Or upset. 

“Okay, but is it? Wouldn’t it be, I don’t know, kinda perfect? I mean, we already he know he likes you-”

“Woah, _what_? We don’t know that!” Where had she gotten that idea? 

“Oh please, it’s so obvious! He gave you a bunch of nicknames, thought you were trustworthy, kept wanting to spend time with you...he totally likes you, Shu.” Kaede grinned, pushing my shoulder playfully. 

“No, Kaede, that’s ridiculous. He and I were friends, more or less. Those are normal things to do with friends. Like Kaito and Maki-”

“They’re dating,” Kaede pointed out. 

“Or you and I. We spent a lot of time together-” I started. 

“And you had a crush on me,” Kaede replied. “He likes you, Shuichi, accept it. Plus, he confessed!” 

_What_? “No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“When?” Surely I hadn’t missed that. 

“He literally said you were the person he fell in love with! Remember how Maki confessed to Kaito? Kokichi said pretty much the same stuff about you. Or did you forget that?” Kaede asked. In truth, I kind of had. I didn’t really register his saying that when I watched our season, or that it was possibly the truth. 

“Okay, well, either way, it doesn't matter!” I snapped. “I don’t like Kokichi.” 

Kaede held up her hands. “Okay, I’m sorry. Why are you being so touchy?” 

“I’m not! I just- I don’t like Kokichi, okay? And he doesn’t like me. End of story.” 

But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Why he wanted to be close to me before the fourth trial, why he gave me those nicknames, why he ran off anytime I got close to him…

And if I was being honest with myself...maybe, just maybe- I wanted to believe he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !!


	10. Chapter 10: Arguments and Outcasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing last week's update! I was distracted and by the time it was time to upload it, I wasn't happy with it. But I eventually finished the chapter so- here it is! Enjoy! {And for readers of the original fic- you'll be recognising some of the next few chapters}
> 
> also- I've been reading all of your comments (even if I haven't responded) and I see we've all come to the consensus that Shuichi is, in fact, dumb and doesn't understand feelings, especially not his own. I promise he'll wisen up eventually lmao

“Shuichi! Over here!” Himiko’s voice rang out through the courtyard. She continued gesturing frantically until I got over to where she and Maki were sitting. 

“Hey.” Maki lifted her hand, waving at me with two fingers. Her face was in its typical deadpan state but she seemed happy, I thought. 

Himiko, on the other hand, was very clear about how she was feeling. She had the widest smile on her face and, seeing it, I couldn’t help but smile too. “Shuichi!”

“Hi, Himiko, Maki. How are you both?” I sat down next to Maki, pivoting to face them. 

“Nyeh...I’m good! Today’s the last day and everyone is...they’re really here,” Himiko murmured. “I know it’s been weeks since we first saw them again, but still. It all feels so...crazy.”

“Yeah.” Maki sighed. “It really is. Who would’ve thought that when that dome shattered...no, before then. When we all first met in the gym, really. Who would’ve thought that we’d wake up in a hospital a few months later with all of our friends?”

“I don’t think anyone could’ve seen that coming. Right?” 

Maki shrugged. “Sure makes a lot of the weird shit that happened make a hell of a lot more sense. Like those fucking bears. What _were_ those?” 

“Horrifying,” I replied, smiling at her. Maki nodded and the ghost of a smile appeared on her face. “But aside from that...it all seemed so real. I mean, we even had a virtual reality _within_ the virtual reality.”

“Speaking of the virtual world…” Himiko reached up reflexively before remembering her hat was gone and clasping her hands together. “That was really...scary. And the trial…”

“The worst one,” Maki agreed. “Everything that happened there was awful. But that trial…”

“Yeah,” I echoed. “That trial was awful. Losing Miu and Gonta, the way Kokichi acted… I-I know no one is _really_ at fault but-”

“That’s not true,” Himiko interjected. “It was Kokichi’s fault and we all know it.”

“But wasn’t he just trying to help…?”

Maki scoffed. “And? Doesn’t change the fact that he got 3 people killed by ‘trying to help’ us.”

“But-” I started again.

Himiko shook her head. “No one asked for his ‘help’! His version of help got 3 people killed! We lost _three people_ , Shuichi. How could that ever be okay?” Himiko was breathing hard, her face screwed up angrily and turning red. 

“I...I don’t think any of them blame him. You don’t blame Kiyo for what he did. You guys are always together, especially after he started spending time with Angie. Why should we treat Kokichi differently?” It made no sense to treat him like a villain if we forgave everyone else, even after everything he had done…

“Nyeh, what a pain. Kokichi is a bad person! The others aren’t. That’s why we forgave them.” Himiko rolled her eyes. “And your dumb feelings make you blind to that.” 

“W-woah, wait, feelings?” I was ignored. Seemed to be a pattern. 

“Himiko is right, Shuichi. The things Kokichi did were worse than the things the others did. He tormented us all. He was worse than Tsumugi. And you just want to forgive him for that?” Maki narrowed her eyes angrily. 

“N-no, that’s not what I’m saying! I don’t think we should _just_ forgive him. But we should at least go see him at some point, right? Dr Gekkogahra talked about how she forgave everyone in her game, even the ones who did really bad stuff-”

“That was different. Two differences actually.” Maki held up two fingers. “One- it’s been years since her game. And two- her game was scripted. Ours wasn’t. So Kokichi’s actions were all his own.”

“But Maki-”

“Don’t you remember what happened? Kokichi told us he was the mastermind and then he _took Kaito from us_! He took Kaito away from _me!_ How could you ever forgive him for that?!” Maki demanded, standing up. 

“I wasn’t thinking about it like that-”

“You never do, Shuichi! You, for some fucking reason, see everything he did through rose-coloured glasses and minimise it. We just don’t understand how you’re okay with him and the things he’s done-”

“I’m not! Maki, Himiko, you have to see I’m not! _I_ was the one who called him out after the fourth trial! _I_ was the one who told him he would be alone if he never changed! _I_ was the one who stayed up _every fucking night thinking about the awful things I had to do because of him!_ What makes you think I forgave him?! I _know_ we’re all supposed to move on and that’s what I’m _trying_ to do! It’s what we’re all trying to do. He- he was so much more than we all thought. And despite everything, we had this _connection_ in the game, even though we were on different sides, even though I could _never_ see him without thinking about the horrible things that happened, the things that he did, we still...I don’t know. In the trials, it was like...like we were the only ones there. Bouncing off each other and helping each other- er, him helping me, I guess. And even when I was _furious_ with him, even when I couldn’t stand to be around him, I still couldn’t stop thinking about the way he acted. And I wanted to know more about him and see past what I _knew_ wasn’t the truth and finally see past his lies and get to know him and really be his friend and of course I haven’t forgotten about what he’s done but...but why is that all we’re focusing on? Why aren’t we acknowledging the fact that he tried to save us or that what he was doing...he didn’t want to do it either?” 

“Then you do it. We don’t want to. _No one does._ You can go see him if you want, Shuichi, but no one else will. Regardless of him trying to help us, the things he’s done can’t be forgiven.” Maki narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms. 

“I’m not trying to get you to forgive him! Just stop treating him like an outcast-”

“ _No.”_ Maki’s eyes were cold. “I’m not arguing with you about this, not today. Just...drop it, okay? Let’s not worry about him today, of all days. Let’s just enjoy today.” 

I sighed, looking over Maki and Himiko. “Yeah, okay, sure, I guess. I don’t want to argue with you two either. So what are your plans for today, then?” 

“Well-” Himiko started. She paused and looked up at the nurse who was suddenly standing over us.

“Shuichi Saihara? I don’t mean to interrupt but Team Danganronpa’s sent some lawyers over, they’d like to speak with you for a moment.” The nurse smiled apologetically. 

“Oh. Um, sorry, what’s going on?” What could _lawyers_ want with _me_?

“I’m sorry, it’s not really my place. It’s just a last few procedures before we can get you all out of here. Once you’re done, you can meet up with your friends for a little while before discharge.”

I glanced at Maki and Himiko, who were both still silent. Himiko was staring at her hands and Maki’s eyes were locked straight ahead. I swallowed, looking away from them. “Yeah. Okay, um, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !!


	11. Chapter 11: Lawyers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost- sorry for not updating for so long. I lost motivation with the story and DR as a whole (I’ll still finish this and publish works for DR tho) so it took a while to build up a backlog of chapters. Second- the hospital was only supposed to be here for 7 chapters and- that’s clearly not the case lmao but I didn’t want to extend it any longer so some of the events were cut. They’ll probably be posted as one shots for the series at some point. 
> 
> Third- y’all were really mad last chapter and I understand why. I agree with a lot of the points you made. Maki and Himiko were absolutely in the wrong last chapter and they were always intended to come off as being in the wrong. Their POV’s came from my own opinions on how the characters would act and how this specific au works. Don’t be too mad at them lmao
> 
> And remember- this au is completely based off my own interpretations of V3’s ending and how I think the characters would act. You’re totally free to disagree or have your own interpretations but please remember that this is all my own headcanons :)

The nurse smiled at me and we walked back through the garden into the building until we reached an office room. Despite there being a window, the room was cold and dark. Sitting at the desk were two lawyers, murmuring amongst themselves and pointing to words on a thick packet of paper. The nurse left a few moments after and the lawyers gestured for me to sit down. 

“Why am I here?” I asked them. One of the lawyers looked up at me.

“We need you to sign this NDA, which is-” 

“A non-disclosure agreement, I know. Why?” It was almost like they thought I didn’t retain my knowledge as the Ultimate Detective. Besides, didn’t everyone know what an NDA was?

“Team Danganronpa needs to ensure that you don’t disclose private details, confidential information or trade secrets such as filming, key character details, how they created your personalities and the, ah, recovery process.” The lawyer flipped through the contract, tapping her pen against certain words. 

“Recovery process?” 

“Yes...we were made aware of an incident that occurred within the hospital during your recovery.” The lawyer looked up at me through her glasses. 

“During _my_ recovery?” I didn’t know I had done anything wrong or out of the ordinary. The lawyer opened her mouth to speak and her partner gently touched her arm. 

“I can explain. You were noted as acting out via personal relationships. You didn’t attempt to create new bonds, instead choosing to stay with your closest friends from the game, and that’s fine! But we also noticed that you attempted to rekindle a relationship with Miss Akamatsu, despite her having a partner already. Aside from that, you were noted as having multiple anxiety attacks and worrying about your classmates to the point of neglecting your own recovery.” The other lawyer finished reading off her yellow notepad and looked up, smiling at me. 

“I don’t understand how any of that would be confidential,” I said. “Were this NDA to be presented in court, it wouldn’t hold up.” 

“We need you not to disclose the frequent panic attacks you suffered. We also need you not to discuss a…Mr ‘Ouma’s’ recovery.” The lawyer pronounced his name oddly as she read it off the paper. 

“I see. So why mention Kaede and me?” Not bringing up Kokichi’s isolation or...breakdown, that made sense. Of course they wouldn’t want that getting out. But my relationship with Kaede? What was so important about that?

“We don’t need to do this. Just sign the NDA and we won’t need to bring that up again. After all, people wouldn’t like you breaking up two of the show’s most popular contestants and a much-beloved relationship by the fans. In fact, it could be career ruining. And were that to get out...well, TDR would need to cut ties with you.” The first lawyer smiled coldly as she tapped her pen against the paper again. 

“Blackmail?” I asked. “Isn’t that illegal?” 

“Sign the NDA and you won’t have to worry about it. You won’t need to work ever again, if you so choose, Mr Saihara. TDR _will_ take care of you completely. Sign the NDA.” The lawyer slid the contract over to me. 

“Shouldn’t I have a lawyer present?” 

“Sign. The. Contract.” The lawyer’s eyes were narrowed angrily. Her partner hit her arm again. 

“Please. Mr Saihara, we don’t want to deal with this any more than you do. Sign the contract and you won’t have to deal with this anymore.” They made a good duo. The first lawyer was cold and brash and the second one softened all the blows. 

“And if I don’t, you’ll ruin my career by saying I tried to break up my friends?” I didn’t think that was too bad. It wasn’t like I’d never be able to find work again if it did happen. 

The first lawyer laughed, pulling off her glasses. “And Miss Akamatsu’s. She was smiling when you pulled away and that’s all the cameras needed to see. Being a pianist...that’s a very high profile job. And she also enjoys baking, does she not? Thought about opening a store, right? It’d be pretty hard for her to get hired as a pianist or get customers if everyone resents her for choosing you over Mr Amami. You don’t want that, do you?”

“That’s a dirty thing to do.” I tried to keep my cool. It wouldn’t do for me to freak out at a time like this. 

“We aren’t ‘doing’ anything. Merely suggesting a possibility. Of course, you sign the NDA and none of this ever happens, we don’t even talk about it again.” 

I bit the inside of my lip, flicking my finger against my thumb. I couldn’t care less about my reputation. Not if I got it from TDR. But Kaede...she had dreams for this world. I couldn’t take them away from her. 

I picked up the pen, quickly scrawling my signature on the dotted line. 

“Thank you, Mr Saihara. You’ll receive your first compensation check within a few days.” The lawyers collected up their papers and placed everything in briefcases before leaving. 

I put my face in my hands and sighed. I shouldn’t have felt guilty for signing the contract, right? What they were asking me to keep secret wasn’t all that outrageous, even though people should probably know what would happen if they went in. But that wasn’t what was eating at me. I couldn’t even bring myself to care about it. It made no sense to feel guilty for signing it because of Kaede, right? I was trying to protect her. Not that she needed my protection, but I didn’t want to be the reason all her dreams went down the drain.

I didn’t need this today. Not after everything with Maki and Himiko. They were good people but...Kokichi didn’t deserve what we were doing to him. Why couldn’t they see that?

I sighed again and lifted my head. The room was so bleak. I stood up and left, going to find Kaede and the others. 

They were in the cafeteria. Everyone was sitting together, smiling. Everyone...other than Kokichi. I sighed. Part of me was hoping that he’d at least be here today. Just to say goodbye. At least...at least Kaede and the others were, if he wasn’t. 

Kaede was laughing loudly, a cupcake in her hands and her head resting on Rantaro’s chest. When she saw me, she started waving excitedly. “Shu! Shu, over here!” she yelled. I walked over quickly, desperate to make her stop yelling my name for everyone to hear.

“Kaede, _please_ ,” I whispered. She grinned. 

“Aw, relax, Shu! No one’s looking at you, promise.” She always seemed to know exactly which thing was bothering me. It didn’t do much to ease how warm my face felt but it was nice of her to try. “Come, sit down.” I did as she asked and sat down, curling in on myself nervously. It was cold...I should’ve brought a jacket. 

Miu laughed loudly. “See! He’s a total masochist! Just followin’ her fuckin’ orders like he did with the flower-garden brained idiot!” 

“Oh, Angie understands now!” The artist giggled. Everyone murmured agreements. 

“Guys...really? Again? Do you really think about me like that?” I asked sadly. Kaede put her hand on my shoulder.

“That’s just plain gross! Especially about my brother!” Tsumugi huffed, crossing her arms. I shot her an appreciative smile. 

Finding out Tsumugi was my sister had been...a trip. But I was glad to have her now. Even after everything she had done.

“It’s a joke, don’t worry about it. I promise that no one _really_ thinks you're a masochist. Except for Miu but….” Kaede shrugged, still smiling. I groaned and put my head in my arms. “But you should only worry about what Kokichi thinks.” 

I sat up straight. “ _What?_ ” 

“Well, y’know,” Kaede said, shrugging again. “Guys, how cute are they gonna be?” 

“Who?” Kaito asked, perking up. He had been sulking about Miu calling him a ‘flower-garden brained idiot’. 

“Shuichi and-” 

“Kaede!” I hissed. She paused, looking over at me. “Please don’t.” 

“Hold on, you’re telling me that _my sidekick_ is gettin’ a girlfriend?” Kaito was smiling widely. “Yes! Be a man, dude! Go get ‘er!”

“Um...thanks?” I murmured. I had no idea how to tell him that it was neither a girlfriend or a girl at all. Or that it was Kokichi...that was a whole other discussion. And besides, I didn’t even know for _sure_ that I liked him. Or that he liked me. I could have always been looking at the wrong way or reading into things or thinking about it too much-

“So, Shuichi. Are you ready?” Kaede asked. I blinked. 

“What?” I smiled apologetically. She sighed. 

“I _asked_ if you were ready to move into our new apartment! Taro and I already picked out the decor so you just have to finish setting up your room and tell Taro what you want from the store and then you and I can go get settled in!” Kaede clapped her hands. “Today’s gonna be _so_ fun, Shu!”

“Oh... um, right. We’re doing that today. Right. So... where is everyone else going, then?” I looked around the table. Kaito, Maki, Tenko, Himiko, Kiibo, Miu, Gonta, Ryoma, Angie, Kiyo, Kirumi, Tsumugi... where were they staying? Would I get to see them again?

...and what about him?

“Angie is buying an art studio with Rantaro! She will live in the apartment above it.” Angie grinned at me, interrupting my thoughts with her answer. “Shuichi, you should come visit it! Angie believes you can make something incredible!” 

“Um, sure, that sounds nice, Angie.” I smiled back at her.

“I will be moving into an apartment building downtown,” Kiyo said quietly. “Oddly enough, it is in the same building as Himiko and Gonta so we will no doubt be seeing more of each other.” Himiko and Gonta nodded. The redhead looked half asleep, resting her head on Tenko’s shoulder and yawning. 

“I will...ah…” Kirumi hesitated, frowning. “I’ve been offered multiple jobs but I’ve yet to decide. I wish to stay near to you all, however.” 

“Makiroll and I are moving into an apartment near the university! I’m gonna get my degree in astronomy and become an astronaut for real this time!” Kaito pounded his fists together. 

“Wait...you’re all pursuing your talents?” I asked. That...they really wanted to do that?

“No shit, Sherlock! We aren’t real good at anything else so may as well do what we know best! You tellin’ me you ain’t gonna be a detective?” Miu demanded. “You’re a bigger fuckin’ idiot than space boy if you don’t!”

“Miu, be nice. Not all of us are pursuing our talents. Kiibo can’t very well be a robot and Rantaro can’t be an adventurer, and Maki can’t...um. And I’m probably not going to be a pianist. Everything that happened...it’ll be awhile before I play again.” I put my hand on Kaede’s shoulder, gently squeezing it. She shot me an appreciative smile before turning back to everyone else. There was a silence for a little while. 

“I’d like to remind everyone that while I may not be a robot anymore, I will still not stand for robophobia!” Kiibo exclaimed. Everyone laughed. “But Kaede is correct. I cannot pursue my talent either.”

“We can discuss details of what everyone’s doing later. But now...let’s cherish the last few moments we’ll all have as a big group here together, alright?” Kaede smiled, locking eyes with each of us. She lifted her glass of juice. “To the end of our hospital stay and to new beginnings!”

Everyone lifted their own glasses, or food items if they didn’t have a drink, and echoed her. We were ready to begin our lives post-Danganronpa, ready to be normal citizens. 

I felt oddly hopeful about it all. 

But...there was something wrong. And as much as I tried to forget about it, I couldn’t. 

Everyone was here. Everyone but Kokichi. 

And, try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking about him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !!


End file.
